Embarrassed

There are several things about me and my life that cause me distress. One of them is my messy house. I'd consider blowing it up, but I'm not sure anyone would be able to see the difference. I could have a clean house, but it would be the only thing I had and I think that's a poor trade.

Yesterday, a friend followed me home from choir practice so I could give her some eggs. As we were walking towards the door and stepping inside, I was dying inside. I knew that entrance was a mess and it gave a back view of the kitchen...that we can usually hide from the main entrance. Additionally, it was Sunday afternoon...the end of a weekend. Maybe some houses end up clean after a whole weekend to get it that way. Ours is the opposite. We had a whole weekend to mess it up.

I kicked aside snow boots and baby toys (I was disgusted to see Sarah's baby toy sitting in a dirty entryway...thanks Joseph), maneuvered around the garbage bags sitting next to the overflowing garbage can, and pretended I didn't see the lack of open counters in the kitchen. I hoped she didn't see the jumble of food stuffs crammed into the fridge when I opened it. The worry entered my mind at that point that I hoped she didn't think the eggs were bad since everything else was presenting such a hygienic image.

When I muttered something about the mess, she was very kind and said it looked like "home." Oh yeah? It didn't look like her home. I know; I've been in it several times. She also has a big family, but her youngest is older than my oldest and only 3 are still at home. So I have something to look forward to...I hope.

And what did I get out of the experience? A big frustrated feeling of EMBARRASSMENT! I'm not feeling philosophical...just embarrassed.