I have them. Deep-rooted, too. I'd tell you their history, but I don't know if I can trust you. And so the cycle continues.
The thing I hate about moving the most, even more than packing/unpacking and finding new schools and doctors, is having to get to know people again. Don't misunderstand what I mean. I like to meet new people. I think I'm pretty good at having a conversation with someone I've just met. But everyone needs a base of operations. I keep losing mine.
I have a child in a similar situation. They are struggling with change and finding a new place to belong. I have spent so much energy on this little soul to smooth the transition and support it through the bumpy spots. But I'm also a little envious because while they can get away with leaving a situation in tears and finding safety at my side, I don't have that freedom. (Honestly, I believe all of my children are struggling in some way or another, though one seems to be doing better than most. Others are just in survival mode and retreating into a silence that seems standoffish...because it kind of is. And the adults they are dealing with aren't really reaching out to them.) I am not naming names to respect their feelings. But if you know us well enough, you know who they are.
Recently, I've had several experiences that have caused me to want to go into my own standoffish survival mode. The general gist of what keeps happening is: Hey, Arlyn! Come join us! What is your opinion? No, really, we want to know. That opinion isn't the same as ours. We don't accept it. Go back to what you were doing. Haha, just kidding (not really).
Because of these recent interactions, I have started to stay on the fringe. And yesterday, they left me right there. They did bring me a chair from their group so I didn't have to stand the whole time...in the fringe. To be fair, I was dealing with a fringe-seeking child, but even after that issue resolved itself, I continued to hold down my chair and keep an eye on the minutes ticking by. When it was finally time to leave, I felt such a chasm that I had one of my children return the chair for me so I wouldn't have to face the other women and walked to my car without saying anything to anyone. Next time, I'll just wait in the car. The hope of being included is starting to fade.
Why do I have such trust issues? Well, some of them come from a bit of a nightmare that keeps repeating itself: I make a friend that I think is a pretty close friend and start to share my insecurities, including the fact that I keep losing friends and don't understand why (to which they are supportively appalled at), and they end up ditching me down the road, too. Warm fuzzies? No. Unless you want to count the heat I feel in my face as they "don't see" me when they walk past.
And why do I so keenly feel the sting of being excluded from a group? That's also something I can't share without trusting you.
If you are the person that immediately has a bunch of suggestions on how I should be friendlier and just introduce myself, trust in the atonement, pray, etc., then I will know I won't be opening up to you. This tells me you are making judgements with assumptions and not facts and you will not be my "safe place" when I need you.
Showing posts with label Arlyn. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Arlyn. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 08, 2017
Monday, August 07, 2017
My Hands
I have noticed that my hands haven't heard that I'm trying not to get old too fast. I can fake youth in my behavior and my face, but my hands are giving me away.
These hands have a lot of miles on them and have been exposed to over 40 years of work and stresses.
They've been sunburned, torn, swollen, and cracked.
They've knocked on doors, manipulated home improvements, soaked in dish water, and been buried in craft goop.
They've wiped dirty bottoms, applied band aids, brushed away tears, and cut hair.
They've patted, swatted, tickled, and pounded.
They've played instruments, cooked dinner, counted to 3 (so many times), and crocheted miles of afghan stitches.
They've painted, gardened, sewed, and sorted.
They've worked on assembly lines, scanned groceries, led music, and taped (and untaped) boxes.
They've been hot, numb, pained, and blistered.
They've been raised in question and in acceptance.
They've been folded in prayer and in worry.
They've served and have accepted service.
And it shows. I think my hands are a bit like a timeline of my life. I imagine my heart might show similar aging if it could. I'm OK with that. But let's see if I can't fool people with my face for a little longer! :)
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Blogging, or Not Blogging
I started my blog over six years ago as a way to keep distant family updated on my growing babies and also a way to write (something I want to do, but don't really have the time to do).
As I have looked back over my posts over the years and had them printed into tangible copies, I have really enjoyed the vivid recounts of little moments that otherwise would have been lost forever. It helped that I had a real audience participating in my stories through the blessing of the internet. The comments left in response were encouraging and really appreciated, but the verbal remarks were more valuable as they gave me a real connection to people.
In 2010, I hit my blogging peak. I was composing blog entries while I mopped the floor, while I drove down the road and every time disaster seemed to strike. If the kids made me laugh with some little quip, I ran to the computer and recorded it. I LOVE reading through those moments!
Even so, my entries have always been motivated by my audience (real and imagined). My journals are influenced in the same way, though writing by hand is much slower and the pictures don't load very easily. I write for an audience, though I expect that my journals will be read after I am gone (at least I hope that I can trust those around me to respect me enough to never pry without permission).
Lately, my real and imagined audiences have decreased. The motivation went with them. It troubles me some as I think of the moments I am no longer recording, but it does seem a blog without an audience is really only a public journal. I no longer consider it worth my time to prepare and upload pictures and tell stories.
As I have thought over the demise of the blog, I have considered how different variables have affected it. The first problem was that I joined Facebook. If I put on FB, it seemed to ease the urge to blog about it. Plus, I was getting way more response that way!
A second problem is a family problem. I have struggled with this for years now. I claim much of the blame, but have little to be proud of in any resolutions. The truth is, I don't speak with one of my sisters. She made it clear enough how she felt and I finally gave up trying to fix it. Another sister is too busy. I know she doesn't read the blog. She has admitted it to me. My brother interacts with me via FB and I have appreciated his efforts to connect. Even so, he's a guy and the connection is different. I haven't spoken to my mother since February 2nd. The few times before that I attempted to talk with her were cut short. She says she doesn't have time to talk. I guess she prefers indirect contact. She recently started commenting on my posts more, but nothing in real time.
The distant relationship with my family has taken a toll on the blog. Sometimes I don't want to blog because I don't want them to know what is happening in my life. If they were to call, I don't know if I would answer the phone. So what is it? Do I want contact or not? I don't even understand what I am thinking!
On the other hand, I have regular contact with my Dad. Usually, we don't even agree about the things we discuss, but I know he is interested in what I am saying. The blog does help us in keeping the conversation fresh and moving. Our conversations can last 2 or 3 hours. And then I have to charge my phone!
A third factor is a trend I have noticed repeats itself way too often: I keep losing friends. I have pondered on this endlessly and cannot figure out what I am doing wrong. The friends that used to comment on my blog are now silent and their absence causes me to lose confidence that I am blogging about something of value.
The last reason for the decline in my blogging (that comes to mind) is the struggle that I have with being proper and avoiding topics too controversial. The times I did relax and share strong emotion seemed to cause greater tension. Well, if I can't be honest about how I feel, what the heck am I doing? My life isn't all flowers and sunshine...sometimes it's tornadoes and stink weeds! If my sister doesn't want to accept my multiple apologies or my mom really isn't interested in what happens in my life or my friends can't remember the 7 digits that make up my number, why in the world should that dictate what goes into my blog?
So the question I have pondered is, what is the purpose of my blog? Obviously, it's not to keep my family connected, but Chad's family is gracious and comments occasionally. Apparently it's not to give my feelings a voice. I'm not someone with hundreds or thousands of readers (if I have 20, I'm surprised).
I am not posting any of this to cause a firestorm or get a bunch of sympathy comments. Things are what they are...I've only stated what I consider to be facts, without emotion. However, I would like to know if there is any reason to continue this blog. Does it serve a purpose, other than giving me a record of my family's activities? Is there anything here that can't be shared via FB? Maybe I should go private and really know who my audience is. I appreciate any insight.
As I have looked back over my posts over the years and had them printed into tangible copies, I have really enjoyed the vivid recounts of little moments that otherwise would have been lost forever. It helped that I had a real audience participating in my stories through the blessing of the internet. The comments left in response were encouraging and really appreciated, but the verbal remarks were more valuable as they gave me a real connection to people.
In 2010, I hit my blogging peak. I was composing blog entries while I mopped the floor, while I drove down the road and every time disaster seemed to strike. If the kids made me laugh with some little quip, I ran to the computer and recorded it. I LOVE reading through those moments!
Even so, my entries have always been motivated by my audience (real and imagined). My journals are influenced in the same way, though writing by hand is much slower and the pictures don't load very easily. I write for an audience, though I expect that my journals will be read after I am gone (at least I hope that I can trust those around me to respect me enough to never pry without permission).
Lately, my real and imagined audiences have decreased. The motivation went with them. It troubles me some as I think of the moments I am no longer recording, but it does seem a blog without an audience is really only a public journal. I no longer consider it worth my time to prepare and upload pictures and tell stories.
As I have thought over the demise of the blog, I have considered how different variables have affected it. The first problem was that I joined Facebook. If I put on FB, it seemed to ease the urge to blog about it. Plus, I was getting way more response that way!
A second problem is a family problem. I have struggled with this for years now. I claim much of the blame, but have little to be proud of in any resolutions. The truth is, I don't speak with one of my sisters. She made it clear enough how she felt and I finally gave up trying to fix it. Another sister is too busy. I know she doesn't read the blog. She has admitted it to me. My brother interacts with me via FB and I have appreciated his efforts to connect. Even so, he's a guy and the connection is different. I haven't spoken to my mother since February 2nd. The few times before that I attempted to talk with her were cut short. She says she doesn't have time to talk. I guess she prefers indirect contact. She recently started commenting on my posts more, but nothing in real time.
The distant relationship with my family has taken a toll on the blog. Sometimes I don't want to blog because I don't want them to know what is happening in my life. If they were to call, I don't know if I would answer the phone. So what is it? Do I want contact or not? I don't even understand what I am thinking!
On the other hand, I have regular contact with my Dad. Usually, we don't even agree about the things we discuss, but I know he is interested in what I am saying. The blog does help us in keeping the conversation fresh and moving. Our conversations can last 2 or 3 hours. And then I have to charge my phone!
A third factor is a trend I have noticed repeats itself way too often: I keep losing friends. I have pondered on this endlessly and cannot figure out what I am doing wrong. The friends that used to comment on my blog are now silent and their absence causes me to lose confidence that I am blogging about something of value.
The last reason for the decline in my blogging (that comes to mind) is the struggle that I have with being proper and avoiding topics too controversial. The times I did relax and share strong emotion seemed to cause greater tension. Well, if I can't be honest about how I feel, what the heck am I doing? My life isn't all flowers and sunshine...sometimes it's tornadoes and stink weeds! If my sister doesn't want to accept my multiple apologies or my mom really isn't interested in what happens in my life or my friends can't remember the 7 digits that make up my number, why in the world should that dictate what goes into my blog?
So the question I have pondered is, what is the purpose of my blog? Obviously, it's not to keep my family connected, but Chad's family is gracious and comments occasionally. Apparently it's not to give my feelings a voice. I'm not someone with hundreds or thousands of readers (if I have 20, I'm surprised).
I am not posting any of this to cause a firestorm or get a bunch of sympathy comments. Things are what they are...I've only stated what I consider to be facts, without emotion. However, I would like to know if there is any reason to continue this blog. Does it serve a purpose, other than giving me a record of my family's activities? Is there anything here that can't be shared via FB? Maybe I should go private and really know who my audience is. I appreciate any insight.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Missing
I would like my family to know that just because you read my blog and feel you have connected with me because you know a little of what we have been doing - - you haven't.
I don't know that you have read anything. I know only silence. It sounds very loud to me and sends me the message that you don't want or enjoy or require having a real conversation(relationship) with me.
The fact that I have tried to express this before (and once upon a time even made attempts to reach out), but still have not heard much from you, confirms my self-evaluation that I am unimportant to you. It has created trust issues within nearly all of my relationships. (If your own family doesn't care, who really will?)
No emails, no texts, no visits and 3-minute phone conversations tell me a lot of things. What would they tell you? Yes, you can find examples contrary to my complaint, but how many of them can you find?
I am missing you and missing from your lives and I can see that you don't care. I am trying not to care. I am not doing it very well. But eventually, I think I will master it. Just don't assume reading my blog is doing for me what it is doing for you.
I don't know that you have read anything. I know only silence. It sounds very loud to me and sends me the message that you don't want or enjoy or require having a real conversation(relationship) with me.
The fact that I have tried to express this before (and once upon a time even made attempts to reach out), but still have not heard much from you, confirms my self-evaluation that I am unimportant to you. It has created trust issues within nearly all of my relationships. (If your own family doesn't care, who really will?)
No emails, no texts, no visits and 3-minute phone conversations tell me a lot of things. What would they tell you? Yes, you can find examples contrary to my complaint, but how many of them can you find?
I am missing you and missing from your lives and I can see that you don't care. I am trying not to care. I am not doing it very well. But eventually, I think I will master it. Just don't assume reading my blog is doing for me what it is doing for you.
Wednesday, January 04, 2012
Checking In
I know I am so far behind. It is not only my blog that is suffering. I found myself busy with Christmas and the new year, Leah's birthday and now her baptism. My church calling is still a little demanding as well as the family. Not to mention my house is a mess and only a few rooms get clean at a time.
I am checking in to let you know I'll be back...hopefully soon. It would be sooner if I thought Blogger would be fast at uploading pictures.
And maybe I can find a way to make my family more mad at me. I'm on a roll (apparently).
WoHoo! Happy New Year, Everyone!
I am checking in to let you know I'll be back...hopefully soon. It would be sooner if I thought Blogger would be fast at uploading pictures.
And maybe I can find a way to make my family more mad at me. I'm on a roll (apparently).
WoHoo! Happy New Year, Everyone!
Sunday, December 11, 2011
I love you
It's interesting to me that there are so many ways to express love to someone. Sometimes, we find it really easy to say those words or make ourselves understood. Other times, it is really a puzzle to figure out how to make ourselves understood.
I think when we find ourselves trying to say we love someone, it's important to wait around a while and see if they got the message. It's possible that they don't receive messages on the same channel that we're sending them.
If you find yourself in that situation, don't sit and wait for the person to flip through the channels until they find the one you're sending your message through. I promise you that they will hear your words, but they won't understand them in their hearts. If you really want to communicate your love, you need to change your channel to match theirs.
Does it seem like I am trying to make a point? Heck, yeah. But I'm getting closer to throwing all the channels out the window instead of pretending that I understand words I hear. That is not my channel you're using!
I think when we find ourselves trying to say we love someone, it's important to wait around a while and see if they got the message. It's possible that they don't receive messages on the same channel that we're sending them.
If you find yourself in that situation, don't sit and wait for the person to flip through the channels until they find the one you're sending your message through. I promise you that they will hear your words, but they won't understand them in their hearts. If you really want to communicate your love, you need to change your channel to match theirs.
Does it seem like I am trying to make a point? Heck, yeah. But I'm getting closer to throwing all the channels out the window instead of pretending that I understand words I hear. That is not my channel you're using!
Monday, October 17, 2011
My excuse du jour
Dear Fate,
I really wanted to be successful today. Since I've showered, eaten and have a load of laundry going, I guess I could call it good. But I had plans for a little more.
The problem is that you gave me a sick 2-year-old who kept me up all night and keeps saying "Up, please." It's not even 9 AM!
I may accomplish a bit more before I attempt another night of sleep, but just in case I don't I wanted you to know why.
Sincerely,
Arlyn aka Nurse-slave
P.S. Thank you for the beautiful sunny morning.
I really wanted to be successful today. Since I've showered, eaten and have a load of laundry going, I guess I could call it good. But I had plans for a little more.
The problem is that you gave me a sick 2-year-old who kept me up all night and keeps saying "Up, please." It's not even 9 AM!
I may accomplish a bit more before I attempt another night of sleep, but just in case I don't I wanted you to know why.
Sincerely,
Arlyn aka Nurse-slave
P.S. Thank you for the beautiful sunny morning.
Friday, October 14, 2011
Losing my mind...and the phone
I couldn't find a phone that I'd just had in my hands. After a few minutes of looking for it the old fashioned way (walking around aimlessly), I picked up my cell phone and called myself.
It was on my 3rd call (hanging up when the answering machine came on) that I finally found the darned thing. It was under a pile of clothes that I had folded BEFORE I made my last phone call. How in the heck? I can't even blame it on anyone...all the kids were downstairs (fighting).
Things must be bad if I'm doing dumb stuff like that. And to make things crazier, I just became the Box Top lady for the elementary school. I spent hours trimming Box Tops in preparation for submission. Did you know they need to be trimmed? If you are sending in Box Tops for your school, do the coordinator a little favor and trim them. You will be an anonymous angel. But don't trim off the expiration date...that makes it invalid.
Each Box Top is worth 10 cents. I threw away a couple of dollars of invalid Box Tops last night. It doesn't seem like much, but it adds up...isn't that what we tell our kids when they put a penny in their bank? With all the Box Tops and online earnings over the summer, our school will be getting a check for over $1000 this December...just for cutting those little things off the packages!
Some of you will be getting an email to sign up for online Box Tops stuff. Just delete it if you aren't interested. It is worth looking into, though. :)
There...that's my Box Top soap box.
Now I'm off to anchor my cordless phone to the wall so that I don't lose it again.
It was on my 3rd call (hanging up when the answering machine came on) that I finally found the darned thing. It was under a pile of clothes that I had folded BEFORE I made my last phone call. How in the heck? I can't even blame it on anyone...all the kids were downstairs (fighting).
Things must be bad if I'm doing dumb stuff like that. And to make things crazier, I just became the Box Top lady for the elementary school. I spent hours trimming Box Tops in preparation for submission. Did you know they need to be trimmed? If you are sending in Box Tops for your school, do the coordinator a little favor and trim them. You will be an anonymous angel. But don't trim off the expiration date...that makes it invalid.
Each Box Top is worth 10 cents. I threw away a couple of dollars of invalid Box Tops last night. It doesn't seem like much, but it adds up...isn't that what we tell our kids when they put a penny in their bank? With all the Box Tops and online earnings over the summer, our school will be getting a check for over $1000 this December...just for cutting those little things off the packages!
Some of you will be getting an email to sign up for online Box Tops stuff. Just delete it if you aren't interested. It is worth looking into, though. :)
There...that's my Box Top soap box.
Now I'm off to anchor my cordless phone to the wall so that I don't lose it again.
Tuesday, September 06, 2011
End of "No Candy" Challenge
It's ended. And it almost seems like a bad thing.
One year ago today (6 September 2010), Daniel made a deal with Chad that if he didn't eat any candy for an entire year, Chad would replace the old bathroom sinks.
We did not think he would make it. Daniel is a candy magnet and the schools these days hand out candy like every day is Halloween. Really, what normal 10-year-old boy makes such a deal?
And then Daniel was doing so well that is surprised me and I told him I would join his challenge if he made it a whole month. That's when he surprised me again...and I joined. Chad had seen this coming and had already joined. (I guess that makes him more supportive of Daniel.) On October 5th, I binged on candy, hoping to make myself so sick that I wouldn't even miss the candy. It almost worked. The next day began my candy fast.
Have you ever gone through Halloween, Christmas, Valentine's Day and Easter without having even one piece of candy? Very tough. Very.
I did stay the rules ONCE when Daniel's Primary teacher presented each of the kids in the class with her traditional homemade chocolates. Hey, it was Christmas! (And Daniel was in tears.) But he made it through multiple class parties and random candy gifts with remarkable self-control. There were many times when both Daniel and I just passed our candy to the person next to us. It's really easier just to get rid of it quickly. And have you really noticed how many restaurants give out candy with the check?
Up until a month ago, I was still struggling with not being able to reach for a piece of candy after dinner, or in the middle of the afternoon. And then it was suddenly easier. I anticipated this day, but not with the eagerness I thought I'd feel.
Daniel was a little more eager and asked me last night if he could have some when he woke up in the morning. I said definitely not before 10 AM! At the top of the hour, Daniel was opening a candy wrapper. But he impressed me again by sharing it with his brothers and sisters. (Why didn't he offer me any??)
After lunch, I had my Snickers bar that has been sitting on my dresser since Mother's Day. I hesitated opening it. Was I really to the end? Did I really want it to be over? Was sitting on the back deck with a candy bar the hoopla I had envisioned? I was going to only eat part of it, but I wasn't excited about a gooey candy bar sitting around, so I just walked around the yard while I slowly chewed.
It was very good. It could have been smaller and been just as satisfying. It was a little sad, too. And the crazy thing? It didn't really seem like it had been 11 months since I'd last had a candy bar.
I don't think I will ever undertake such a challenge again, unless it is to support one of my children. Even a doctor telling me my life depended on it might not keep me from eating a smartie, but a promise to my child would.
Is it wrong to be proud of myself? Because I feel like I just accomplished something amazing! I have new respect for Daniel. I am definitely proud of him!
One year ago today (6 September 2010), Daniel made a deal with Chad that if he didn't eat any candy for an entire year, Chad would replace the old bathroom sinks.
We did not think he would make it. Daniel is a candy magnet and the schools these days hand out candy like every day is Halloween. Really, what normal 10-year-old boy makes such a deal?
And then Daniel was doing so well that is surprised me and I told him I would join his challenge if he made it a whole month. That's when he surprised me again...and I joined. Chad had seen this coming and had already joined. (I guess that makes him more supportive of Daniel.) On October 5th, I binged on candy, hoping to make myself so sick that I wouldn't even miss the candy. It almost worked. The next day began my candy fast.
Have you ever gone through Halloween, Christmas, Valentine's Day and Easter without having even one piece of candy? Very tough. Very.
I did stay the rules ONCE when Daniel's Primary teacher presented each of the kids in the class with her traditional homemade chocolates. Hey, it was Christmas! (And Daniel was in tears.) But he made it through multiple class parties and random candy gifts with remarkable self-control. There were many times when both Daniel and I just passed our candy to the person next to us. It's really easier just to get rid of it quickly. And have you really noticed how many restaurants give out candy with the check?
Up until a month ago, I was still struggling with not being able to reach for a piece of candy after dinner, or in the middle of the afternoon. And then it was suddenly easier. I anticipated this day, but not with the eagerness I thought I'd feel.
Daniel was a little more eager and asked me last night if he could have some when he woke up in the morning. I said definitely not before 10 AM! At the top of the hour, Daniel was opening a candy wrapper. But he impressed me again by sharing it with his brothers and sisters. (Why didn't he offer me any??)
After lunch, I had my Snickers bar that has been sitting on my dresser since Mother's Day. I hesitated opening it. Was I really to the end? Did I really want it to be over? Was sitting on the back deck with a candy bar the hoopla I had envisioned? I was going to only eat part of it, but I wasn't excited about a gooey candy bar sitting around, so I just walked around the yard while I slowly chewed.
It was very good. It could have been smaller and been just as satisfying. It was a little sad, too. And the crazy thing? It didn't really seem like it had been 11 months since I'd last had a candy bar.
I don't think I will ever undertake such a challenge again, unless it is to support one of my children. Even a doctor telling me my life depended on it might not keep me from eating a smartie, but a promise to my child would.
Is it wrong to be proud of myself? Because I feel like I just accomplished something amazing! I have new respect for Daniel. I am definitely proud of him!
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
My Walls
Maybe some of you don't realize how much work I've put into building up my walls.
Each brick was placed very carefully, determined by feelings and and circumstances. I have invested years into building these walls. I have several layers of walls. I feel safe behind my walls (though not always happy).
When someone comes along and starts trying to break through my walls, I get very uncomfortable. It's a painful process to uncover the things I buried in the walls when I built them.
Even so, I am a practical person and realize that these walls are ugly and not built to code. They need to come down (or at the very least, a window put in).
So I thank those of you who have taken on this unpleasant task of breaking away the bricks. I'm sorry if I don't appear very grateful. There are some things being uncovered that I'd hoped to never see again.
Hopefully, you're all wearing hard hats, because I'd hate for anyone to be injured by my falling walls. Please pardon my dust (and tears).
Each brick was placed very carefully, determined by feelings and and circumstances. I have invested years into building these walls. I have several layers of walls. I feel safe behind my walls (though not always happy).
When someone comes along and starts trying to break through my walls, I get very uncomfortable. It's a painful process to uncover the things I buried in the walls when I built them.
Even so, I am a practical person and realize that these walls are ugly and not built to code. They need to come down (or at the very least, a window put in).
So I thank those of you who have taken on this unpleasant task of breaking away the bricks. I'm sorry if I don't appear very grateful. There are some things being uncovered that I'd hoped to never see again.
Hopefully, you're all wearing hard hats, because I'd hate for anyone to be injured by my falling walls. Please pardon my dust (and tears).
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Nothing to do
It really bugs me that people think I don't do anything since I am home with the kids all day.
I keep getting "stood up" by folks who apparently think that it's no big deal if they don't show.
Well, guess what, people: there are certain things I can't get involved in or places I can't go if I'm expecting/waiting for you to call and say you are on your way!
Besides, it's just a matter of courtesy...no matter how busy you think I am.
__________
I know you are thinking - she doesn't post anything good on her blog in forever and when she finally does, it's to complain. It's kind of how it feels like things are going. I feel pretty grumpy about some stuff. I haven't felt like interacting with anyone virtually since I haven't really been interacting well in real life.
Anyone else feel like they've disappeared into their life? I miss being me (Arlyn, -not Mommy or wife or R.S. Sec.).
I keep getting "stood up" by folks who apparently think that it's no big deal if they don't show.
Well, guess what, people: there are certain things I can't get involved in or places I can't go if I'm expecting/waiting for you to call and say you are on your way!
Besides, it's just a matter of courtesy...no matter how busy you think I am.
__________
I know you are thinking - she doesn't post anything good on her blog in forever and when she finally does, it's to complain. It's kind of how it feels like things are going. I feel pretty grumpy about some stuff. I haven't felt like interacting with anyone virtually since I haven't really been interacting well in real life.
Anyone else feel like they've disappeared into their life? I miss being me (Arlyn, -not Mommy or wife or R.S. Sec.).
Thursday, April 28, 2011
One THOUSAND Posts!
I feel like celebrating and having a giveaway. But I have nothing cool enough to give away. Besides, it helps to have a larger group of groupies to have a giveaway - you know?
It has taken me over 5 years to get to this humongous milestone. To be more exact, it has been just over 68 months since my very first blog post. Rebekah was less than two months old and now she is nearly graduated from Kindergarten.
Here are a "few" more things that have happened during my blogging career (yeah - career - because it's brought in so much money...ha ha):
I had two children.
We moved 10 minutes away and are now trying to move 10 seconds away!
I've been a Visiting Teacher, Enrichment Leader, a Primary teacher (twice), a RS Instructor, Ward Choir Director and RS Secretary.
I have sewn 14 Easter dresses.
We have raised cows, chickens, lambs, cats, and owned dogs and a horse.
We have filled 5 years with fabulous memories...Christmas, birthdays, Valentine's Day (times 14), St. Patrick's Day, April Fool's Day, Easter, Mother's Day, Father's Day, 4th of July, Spud Day, Thanksgiving...and seasonal changes.
We have some glorious memories, and some not so great ones.
We've learned a bit about TMJ and paid for a round of braces. (I see more in our future.)
We've "mended fences" and "burned bridges."
We bought a new van. And then filled all the seats in it.
We've traveled thousands of miles on family trips (and cried for many of them).
Chad got his first speeding ticket. hehe
We made career decisions as the economy tanked...but have not yet lost employment.
We've met new friends and mourned the loss of others.
We had a flood in the storage room and nearly another with our septic tank (eww!).
OK...Obviously, this could get very tedious as I recount the mundane events of 5 years of living. Let's just say, we've done a lot of living!
And mostly, it's been moments like this:
It has taken me over 5 years to get to this humongous milestone. To be more exact, it has been just over 68 months since my very first blog post. Rebekah was less than two months old and now she is nearly graduated from Kindergarten.
Here are a "few" more things that have happened during my blogging career (yeah - career - because it's brought in so much money...ha ha):
I had two children.
We moved 10 minutes away and are now trying to move 10 seconds away!
I've been a Visiting Teacher, Enrichment Leader, a Primary teacher (twice), a RS Instructor, Ward Choir Director and RS Secretary.
I have sewn 14 Easter dresses.
We have raised cows, chickens, lambs, cats, and owned dogs and a horse.
We have filled 5 years with fabulous memories...Christmas, birthdays, Valentine's Day (times 14), St. Patrick's Day, April Fool's Day, Easter, Mother's Day, Father's Day, 4th of July, Spud Day, Thanksgiving...and seasonal changes.
We have some glorious memories, and some not so great ones.
We've learned a bit about TMJ and paid for a round of braces. (I see more in our future.)
We've "mended fences" and "burned bridges."
We bought a new van. And then filled all the seats in it.
We've traveled thousands of miles on family trips (and cried for many of them).
Chad got his first speeding ticket. hehe
We made career decisions as the economy tanked...but have not yet lost employment.
We've met new friends and mourned the loss of others.
We had a flood in the storage room and nearly another with our septic tank (eww!).
OK...Obviously, this could get very tedious as I recount the mundane events of 5 years of living. Let's just say, we've done a lot of living!
And mostly, it's been moments like this:
Sarah - 19 months
So grab yourself a bowl of rich chocolate ice cream and celebrate 1000 posts with me! By the time I reach 2000, Daniel will probably be driving!
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Life
I've been busy living it. Not necessarily living it up, but I think just living is good enough sometimes.
We've been dealing with fevers and coughing and runny noses for the past 10+ days now. Six kids means a lot of little germs are simply traveling back and forth. Leah has been sick most of those days. She missed a bit of school and even went to school with a fever today just to avoid staying home again! I finally decided she did need the Rx for antibiotics and she started that this evening. I hope it works quickly.
Sarah had a bout of pink eye with an ear infection. We had that diagnosed after two days of torture; she wouldn't be happy for anything! Now she just thinks she should be held, but at least she's not twisting in my arms and crying all day. She had a fever all day yesterday even though she has been on her own antibiotic since Sat. Nothing is going to be easy, I see.
Lest you think I need to fumigate (which I probably do), this nastiness is going around. We're just one sorry family in a long line of sorry families.
Our computer committed suicide last week. I guess it had become attached to the germs (viruses) it had and didn't want to go on living without them. Unfortunately, we had bought the machine from a friend and had no product keys to anything. It's all lost and we have a new tower en route this week. Thankfully, the shop was able to save our hard drive. I SO don't want to have to retype the entire ward directory!
The Sunday School lesson coming up is on Matthew 13, which includes several parables. As of late, I've been thinking of the parable of the wheat and tares a lot. I guess most people believe it symbolizes believers verses non-believers. Other people may say it symbolizes church members verses non-church members. I am thinking it goes deeper. I can see its applications within the church members themselves. I keep running into folks who live conditionally in their religion. I'm speaking specifically LDS church members, but I suppose you could see the same situations in all religions.
I am trying not to keep my covenants conditionally. I have seen areas that I need a lot of improvement in. I think I have been pretty honest with myself, though, and have been through a bit of refining. As long as I keep moving forward, right?
This is a pretty vague testimony, I realize. I'm not looking to start a fight...just sharing some of my thoughts lately.
So tomorrow is another day. I hope we're fever-free, but I'm learning not to count on it. We'll be going Visiting Teaching, fevers or not. And Daniel has an ortho appt. I'll fake trying to have a clean house and will probably end up holding Sarah a lot and telling Joseph it's not snack time yet - at least once every two minutes.
St. Patrick's Day is Thursday (that isn't news to anyone, I'm sure) and I've made the kids some shirts to wear. I'll post pictures of those and some other shots we've collected along the way to try to liven up this blog.
We've been dealing with fevers and coughing and runny noses for the past 10+ days now. Six kids means a lot of little germs are simply traveling back and forth. Leah has been sick most of those days. She missed a bit of school and even went to school with a fever today just to avoid staying home again! I finally decided she did need the Rx for antibiotics and she started that this evening. I hope it works quickly.
Sarah had a bout of pink eye with an ear infection. We had that diagnosed after two days of torture; she wouldn't be happy for anything! Now she just thinks she should be held, but at least she's not twisting in my arms and crying all day. She had a fever all day yesterday even though she has been on her own antibiotic since Sat. Nothing is going to be easy, I see.
Lest you think I need to fumigate (which I probably do), this nastiness is going around. We're just one sorry family in a long line of sorry families.
Our computer committed suicide last week. I guess it had become attached to the germs (viruses) it had and didn't want to go on living without them. Unfortunately, we had bought the machine from a friend and had no product keys to anything. It's all lost and we have a new tower en route this week. Thankfully, the shop was able to save our hard drive. I SO don't want to have to retype the entire ward directory!
The Sunday School lesson coming up is on Matthew 13, which includes several parables. As of late, I've been thinking of the parable of the wheat and tares a lot. I guess most people believe it symbolizes believers verses non-believers. Other people may say it symbolizes church members verses non-church members. I am thinking it goes deeper. I can see its applications within the church members themselves. I keep running into folks who live conditionally in their religion. I'm speaking specifically LDS church members, but I suppose you could see the same situations in all religions.
I am trying not to keep my covenants conditionally. I have seen areas that I need a lot of improvement in. I think I have been pretty honest with myself, though, and have been through a bit of refining. As long as I keep moving forward, right?
This is a pretty vague testimony, I realize. I'm not looking to start a fight...just sharing some of my thoughts lately.
So tomorrow is another day. I hope we're fever-free, but I'm learning not to count on it. We'll be going Visiting Teaching, fevers or not. And Daniel has an ortho appt. I'll fake trying to have a clean house and will probably end up holding Sarah a lot and telling Joseph it's not snack time yet - at least once every two minutes.
St. Patrick's Day is Thursday (that isn't news to anyone, I'm sure) and I've made the kids some shirts to wear. I'll post pictures of those and some other shots we've collected along the way to try to liven up this blog.
Monday, January 10, 2011
My "To Do" list
We all have one. Some of us don't admit it, but it's there just the same.
Most of us have one very large list that's actually made up of several smaller categories. I have one of those. My list has categories like these:
Must do: Things I can't put off any longer. These things aren't technically on the list because I have to do them, but it feels better to cross off something (even if it is only mentally) and so I include those. In reality, these are the things that I have to do in order to start on the things I really have on my "to do" list.
Need to do: Things I otherwise call "chores." This is stuff that I'm supposed to do in the course of a day to make me feel like a good housewife and mother. These are things that can be put off (and usually are) until the job becomes so big it gets moved up to the Must Do category.
Should do: Things that are going to make life more pleasant, but if I don't get to them, everything will still be OK...until the job gets moved up a category!
Want to do: Things that I should really call Free Time. Sadly, this is the list that often gets put before Need To Do, which might be why we often find our clothes out of the laundry basket instead of the drawers!
And then, despite our large lists we deal with unexpected disruptions and the sad reality that we often get caught up in the To Do lists of people around us. That just muddles the whole process.
So what's my "To Do" list for today? Though not complete, nor listed by priority, I am hoping to do these things today:
1. Get the Ward Directory ready to print! (I am meeting the librarian at the church tomorrow night, so this is on my MUST DO list!)
2. Fold laundry. This is etched permanently onto my list. :(
3. Sew pants for Leah. They've been cut out for a couple of months now, but Christmas over-rode the importance.
4. Wash fabric for Christmas PJ's. (Check. It's in the washer -13.5 yards- already.) Yep! I am already planning for Christmas next year! Don't be too impressed; I did this last year, too. The fabric sat on my sewing table for 11 months.
And if I can get that done, I'll find some fun stuff to do later today. (Like blogging. Didn't I tell you this category often got in the way of the more important stuff?)
Most of us have one very large list that's actually made up of several smaller categories. I have one of those. My list has categories like these:
Must do: Things I can't put off any longer. These things aren't technically on the list because I have to do them, but it feels better to cross off something (even if it is only mentally) and so I include those. In reality, these are the things that I have to do in order to start on the things I really have on my "to do" list.
Need to do: Things I otherwise call "chores." This is stuff that I'm supposed to do in the course of a day to make me feel like a good housewife and mother. These are things that can be put off (and usually are) until the job becomes so big it gets moved up to the Must Do category.
Should do: Things that are going to make life more pleasant, but if I don't get to them, everything will still be OK...until the job gets moved up a category!
Want to do: Things that I should really call Free Time. Sadly, this is the list that often gets put before Need To Do, which might be why we often find our clothes out of the laundry basket instead of the drawers!
And then, despite our large lists we deal with unexpected disruptions and the sad reality that we often get caught up in the To Do lists of people around us. That just muddles the whole process.
So what's my "To Do" list for today? Though not complete, nor listed by priority, I am hoping to do these things today:
1. Get the Ward Directory ready to print! (I am meeting the librarian at the church tomorrow night, so this is on my MUST DO list!)
2. Fold laundry. This is etched permanently onto my list. :(
3. Sew pants for Leah. They've been cut out for a couple of months now, but Christmas over-rode the importance.
4. Wash fabric for Christmas PJ's. (Check. It's in the washer -13.5 yards- already.) Yep! I am already planning for Christmas next year! Don't be too impressed; I did this last year, too. The fabric sat on my sewing table for 11 months.
And if I can get that done, I'll find some fun stuff to do later today. (Like blogging. Didn't I tell you this category often got in the way of the more important stuff?)
Friday, December 24, 2010
Notes to myselves
Dear Arlyn in the past,
I am writing to give you a little "heads up." You said once that you wanted a lot of kids. Is six enough? You will have six beautiful children (one at a time, thankfully) and they will be the source of joy, but also frustration.
You will have 3 boys and 3 girls. And then there will come a time when you will be grateful for the balance. The girls will drive you crazy with their drama, but the boys will tear your house apart! Either way, you'll tear your hair out. Take lots of vitamins.
Oh...and don't get the nativities out until 2015 or later (unless you like to buy lots of new sets).
Good luck!
Love, Arlyn
_______________________
Dear Arlyn in the future,
Things are going well enough here, as you already know. I was just wondering about some things.
Do you ever end up running away permanently? Do the kids ever break any bones? Did everyone grow up to be respectful, honest and kind? Do they marry and reward you with grandchildren? Did you ever get to put up any of your Christmas nativities?
I could use a tiny bit of encouragement...I'm sure you know exactly what I mean!
Love, Arlyn
I am writing to give you a little "heads up." You said once that you wanted a lot of kids. Is six enough? You will have six beautiful children (one at a time, thankfully) and they will be the source of joy, but also frustration.
You will have 3 boys and 3 girls. And then there will come a time when you will be grateful for the balance. The girls will drive you crazy with their drama, but the boys will tear your house apart! Either way, you'll tear your hair out. Take lots of vitamins.
Oh...and don't get the nativities out until 2015 or later (unless you like to buy lots of new sets).
Good luck!
Love, Arlyn
_______________________
Dear Arlyn in the future,
Things are going well enough here, as you already know. I was just wondering about some things.
Do you ever end up running away permanently? Do the kids ever break any bones? Did everyone grow up to be respectful, honest and kind? Do they marry and reward you with grandchildren? Did you ever get to put up any of your Christmas nativities?
I could use a tiny bit of encouragement...I'm sure you know exactly what I mean!
Love, Arlyn
Sunday, December 05, 2010
Kind Words
My aunt knew I was having a hard time and hurting over a personal issue. She shared this with me:
The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him. Every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming.
Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect himself from the elements, and to store his few possessions.
One day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, with smoke rolling up to the sky. He felt the worst had happened, and everything was lost.
He was stunned with disbelief, grief, and anger. He cried out, 'God! How could you do this to me?'
Early the next day, he was awakened by the sound of a ship approaching the island! It had come to rescue him! 'How did you know I was here?' asked the weary man of his rescuers.
'We saw your smoke signal,' they replied.
The Moral of This Story:
It's easy to get discouraged when things are going bad, but we shouldn't lose heart, because God is at work in our lives, even in the midst of our pain and suffering.
Remember that the next time your little hut seems to be burning to the ground. It just may be a smoke signal that summons the Grace of God.
The most memorable people in life,
will be the friends who loved you,
when you didn't feel very loved.
I am thankful for her kind words. And I've had some other special people who've literally and figuratively given me a shoulder to cry on. Thank you...you know who you are.
The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him. Every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming.
Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect himself from the elements, and to store his few possessions.
One day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, with smoke rolling up to the sky. He felt the worst had happened, and everything was lost.
He was stunned with disbelief, grief, and anger. He cried out, 'God! How could you do this to me?'
Early the next day, he was awakened by the sound of a ship approaching the island! It had come to rescue him! 'How did you know I was here?' asked the weary man of his rescuers.
'We saw your smoke signal,' they replied.
The Moral of This Story:
It's easy to get discouraged when things are going bad, but we shouldn't lose heart, because God is at work in our lives, even in the midst of our pain and suffering.
Remember that the next time your little hut seems to be burning to the ground. It just may be a smoke signal that summons the Grace of God.
The most memorable people in life,
will be the friends who loved you,
when you didn't feel very loved.
I am thankful for her kind words. And I've had some other special people who've literally and figuratively given me a shoulder to cry on. Thank you...you know who you are.
Friday, October 08, 2010
Three long days
I haven't had any candy in 3 days. Three. Long. Days. It all started early last month...
Chad and Daniel were having a conversation while Chad worked on the bathroom. (You may already be aware that we have a year-long bathroom remodeling project underway.) Even though I was in the room, I don't know the details of the conversation they had. But I am quite familiar with the result of the chat. The deal is: if Daniel goes a whole year without eating any candy, Chad will replace the bathroom sinks (there are two).
That was 6 September. That was also the day that we busted open Daniel's pinata. (I haven't blogged about the pinatas yet. There's a little foreshadowing for you.) I thought this would create a bit of a problem, especially since Daniel had been after us for a couple of weeks to do his pinata. I was surprised that he didn't have a problem with not getting to eat any of the candy. He focused instead on the toys.
A couple of days passed and Daniel stayed true. I was so impressed that I told him if he made it a month, I'd join him (part of me was hoping he wouldn't make it). And then the weeks passed. Meanwhile, Chad joined him and left more candy for me. On 5 October, the day before my month was up, I binged on candy! I wanted to get as much as I could and hopefully make myself so sick that I would be glad that I wasn't eating candy anymore. I almost succeeded.
My first day of candy abstinence was difficult. I found other ways to satisfy my sugar craving. Pink marshmallows don't count as candy, do they? The next day was a little easier. Today was tricky, mostly after lunch and dinner. I think my blood is a medium syrup mixture! I know that this will be a good thing for me. Sometimes good things are hard.
Daniel's plan is to stock pile his candy and have pounds of it to himself come next September. Chad and I told him that after going without it for so long, he's probably not going to like it so much. He's already admitted that it's gotten easier. That is encouraging for me!
And what is just three weeks away? The biggest candy day on the calendar. Give me strength.
Chad and Daniel were having a conversation while Chad worked on the bathroom. (You may already be aware that we have a year-long bathroom remodeling project underway.) Even though I was in the room, I don't know the details of the conversation they had. But I am quite familiar with the result of the chat. The deal is: if Daniel goes a whole year without eating any candy, Chad will replace the bathroom sinks (there are two).
That was 6 September. That was also the day that we busted open Daniel's pinata. (I haven't blogged about the pinatas yet. There's a little foreshadowing for you.) I thought this would create a bit of a problem, especially since Daniel had been after us for a couple of weeks to do his pinata. I was surprised that he didn't have a problem with not getting to eat any of the candy. He focused instead on the toys.
A couple of days passed and Daniel stayed true. I was so impressed that I told him if he made it a month, I'd join him (part of me was hoping he wouldn't make it). And then the weeks passed. Meanwhile, Chad joined him and left more candy for me. On 5 October, the day before my month was up, I binged on candy! I wanted to get as much as I could and hopefully make myself so sick that I would be glad that I wasn't eating candy anymore. I almost succeeded.
My first day of candy abstinence was difficult. I found other ways to satisfy my sugar craving. Pink marshmallows don't count as candy, do they? The next day was a little easier. Today was tricky, mostly after lunch and dinner. I think my blood is a medium syrup mixture! I know that this will be a good thing for me. Sometimes good things are hard.
Daniel's plan is to stock pile his candy and have pounds of it to himself come next September. Chad and I told him that after going without it for so long, he's probably not going to like it so much. He's already admitted that it's gotten easier. That is encouraging for me!
And what is just three weeks away? The biggest candy day on the calendar. Give me strength.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
I have nothing
I know I haven't posted much lately. It feels like my life has been too boring to make it worth your time. So I'll force myself to type something this evening and see if I can't prove myself right.
Chad's sister, Pamela and her husband, John and baby Cordelia spent a few nights with us. I think Pamela was worried about wearing out her welcome, but I really enjoyed her visit. Her baby is so cute and has the craziest hair! I couldn't get enough of it. :) The kids enjoyed playing with their "step" cousins, Everett and Eliza. I think they almost understand how John's kids are related to them!
We spent some time with friends at a potluck dinner and enjoyed getting to know a few people a little better. The kids learned how to play "Ghost in the Graveyard" and thoroughly enjoyed themselves. They have mentioned how fun it was. Too bad they get sent to bed before the sun goes down!
Joseph's potty training went so smoothly, I felt we'd "dodged a bullet." Apparently it was just a slow moving bullet. We've had several night time accidents lately. I'm not sure why that is. I do know that I don't like the extra laundry. I've been trying to figure out if there is a trigger that I can recall that would explain the change. But during the day, Joseph is a super star and has a near flawless record. And that boy is REGULAR! He says he has to poop and does it in less than 15 seconds!
Rebekah has been loving Kindergarten. I really wish I could observe her in her class. Her reports are of a different nature than Leah's Kindergarten reports. Where Leah was concerned about who was her friend that day and who was not, Rebekah finds it important to let me know who misbehaved and who didn't (usually it's only her). I think it's entertaining to think of Rebekah being the ONLY obedient one in her class, especially since I know there are some kids in there that would rather melt into the carpet than cause even a second of trouble. And then there is some kid named Brandon. He gets reported on often. I'd like to meet this bad boy!
This is the last week of school before Spud Harvest. The kids will be out of school again for two whole weeks. And we didn't even plant potatoes this year! I guess the kids may get a chance or two to play that "Ghost in the Graveyard" game after all. It's also Homecoming week. Will there be a second Homecoming after this second summer?
My heel is still sore. I've been wearing my shoes in the house. I don't know how it's been helping the overall problem, but it is easier to walk around during the day.
Sarah has started walking. She willingly makes the trip from the coffee table to the couch. And she often takes off into the middle of the room, though doesn't often get more than 10-12 steps. She's had a few accidents involving the coffee table, so I look forward to her getting more confident in her movements. My heart will have less trauma when she's a little sturdier on her feet! I've decided she looks a lot like a Kewpie doll. I'll have to get some pictures of her posted before she loses the look!
I haven't been able to scrapbook lately. Our desktop has been "in the shop" since last Tuesday. We'll get it back tomorrow (if Chad remembers) and things will be better in more than one way. I am very grateful for my laptop, but my desktop is where most of the magic happens. :)
Is anyone looking forward to Fall? I'm trying to decide how early to get the Halloween decorations out.
Chad's sister, Pamela and her husband, John and baby Cordelia spent a few nights with us. I think Pamela was worried about wearing out her welcome, but I really enjoyed her visit. Her baby is so cute and has the craziest hair! I couldn't get enough of it. :) The kids enjoyed playing with their "step" cousins, Everett and Eliza. I think they almost understand how John's kids are related to them!
We spent some time with friends at a potluck dinner and enjoyed getting to know a few people a little better. The kids learned how to play "Ghost in the Graveyard" and thoroughly enjoyed themselves. They have mentioned how fun it was. Too bad they get sent to bed before the sun goes down!
Joseph's potty training went so smoothly, I felt we'd "dodged a bullet." Apparently it was just a slow moving bullet. We've had several night time accidents lately. I'm not sure why that is. I do know that I don't like the extra laundry. I've been trying to figure out if there is a trigger that I can recall that would explain the change. But during the day, Joseph is a super star and has a near flawless record. And that boy is REGULAR! He says he has to poop and does it in less than 15 seconds!
Rebekah has been loving Kindergarten. I really wish I could observe her in her class. Her reports are of a different nature than Leah's Kindergarten reports. Where Leah was concerned about who was her friend that day and who was not, Rebekah finds it important to let me know who misbehaved and who didn't (usually it's only her). I think it's entertaining to think of Rebekah being the ONLY obedient one in her class, especially since I know there are some kids in there that would rather melt into the carpet than cause even a second of trouble. And then there is some kid named Brandon. He gets reported on often. I'd like to meet this bad boy!
This is the last week of school before Spud Harvest. The kids will be out of school again for two whole weeks. And we didn't even plant potatoes this year! I guess the kids may get a chance or two to play that "Ghost in the Graveyard" game after all. It's also Homecoming week. Will there be a second Homecoming after this second summer?
My heel is still sore. I've been wearing my shoes in the house. I don't know how it's been helping the overall problem, but it is easier to walk around during the day.
Sarah has started walking. She willingly makes the trip from the coffee table to the couch. And she often takes off into the middle of the room, though doesn't often get more than 10-12 steps. She's had a few accidents involving the coffee table, so I look forward to her getting more confident in her movements. My heart will have less trauma when she's a little sturdier on her feet! I've decided she looks a lot like a Kewpie doll. I'll have to get some pictures of her posted before she loses the look!
I haven't been able to scrapbook lately. Our desktop has been "in the shop" since last Tuesday. We'll get it back tomorrow (if Chad remembers) and things will be better in more than one way. I am very grateful for my laptop, but my desktop is where most of the magic happens. :)
Is anyone looking forward to Fall? I'm trying to decide how early to get the Halloween decorations out.
Wednesday, September 08, 2010
CRABBY
I'm feeling quite crabby this morning...and my kids weren't spared.
We just finished a four-day weekend full of teasing, whining, begging and fighting. OK, it wasn't all bad, but I'm crabby this morning and that's all I can remember right now.
We spent 4+ hours at the fair last night...most of them walking. (I think I'm going to enter something into the fair next year. Maybe one of my baby blessing afghans I made for the kids.) I felt the strain on the bank account from the very moment we paid $18 to get the family through the gates. I'm grateful that 3 of the kids were free! We only bought ice cream cones and let each kid pick one ride, but with parking and a quick stop in the Arctic Circle drive-thru for cheaper refreshments, we spent $77.02. We bought NOTHING from the commercial buildings and other booths. I couldn't bear to part with anymore cash. One day I'm going to look back at this and think that wasn't so much money, but right now, it is.
Anyway, we got home with less than 20 minutes before I had to go to my pres. meeting. I gingerly slipped off my sneakers and socks and slipped on my sandals. The rest of the night, my limp was more noticeable than usual.
So last night, I looked up my heel pain a little more seriously. I've been suffering most of this year; it isn't getting any better. I need to lose some weight, but don't have good enough mobility to exercise. And at the end of days like yesterday, the pain includes my calf muscle, too. I feel confident that I've self-diagnosed my problem with 95% accuracy. Plantar fasciilitis. Or policeman's heel. Or jogger's heel. Or tennis heel. Or lazy, fat lady's heel. (I made that one up all by myself.)
I can't avoid it any longer...I have to stop going barefoot. I have always gone barefoot. My bare feet to me are like feelers to a bug. That's how I know there is a spill on the floor, a fruit snack being smashed into the carpet, sharp objects lurking and waiting for little people to crawl on, etc. With shoes on, I feel clumsy. I trip on things more (since the floor is usually SO uncluttered) and step on people more. It's like walking blind through the house! I can't curl up on the bed or couch with shoes on. And I have to wear socks.
But even with so many reasons why I can't stand shoes, I can't stand the pain anymore. Since I don't have the luxury of staying off my feet, I have to do this. It's obviously not going to go away and it can eventually cause a whole list of problems (some I have already begun to see). I hope that a few weeks of shoes will heal my heel and I can toss those clunkers back into the closet! And then winter will come and I will have to dig them back out again.
A perfect adventure to start on a day that I feel crabby.
We just finished a four-day weekend full of teasing, whining, begging and fighting. OK, it wasn't all bad, but I'm crabby this morning and that's all I can remember right now.
We spent 4+ hours at the fair last night...most of them walking. (I think I'm going to enter something into the fair next year. Maybe one of my baby blessing afghans I made for the kids.) I felt the strain on the bank account from the very moment we paid $18 to get the family through the gates. I'm grateful that 3 of the kids were free! We only bought ice cream cones and let each kid pick one ride, but with parking and a quick stop in the Arctic Circle drive-thru for cheaper refreshments, we spent $77.02. We bought NOTHING from the commercial buildings and other booths. I couldn't bear to part with anymore cash. One day I'm going to look back at this and think that wasn't so much money, but right now, it is.
Anyway, we got home with less than 20 minutes before I had to go to my pres. meeting. I gingerly slipped off my sneakers and socks and slipped on my sandals. The rest of the night, my limp was more noticeable than usual.
So last night, I looked up my heel pain a little more seriously. I've been suffering most of this year; it isn't getting any better. I need to lose some weight, but don't have good enough mobility to exercise. And at the end of days like yesterday, the pain includes my calf muscle, too. I feel confident that I've self-diagnosed my problem with 95% accuracy. Plantar fasciilitis. Or policeman's heel. Or jogger's heel. Or tennis heel. Or lazy, fat lady's heel. (I made that one up all by myself.)
I can't avoid it any longer...I have to stop going barefoot. I have always gone barefoot. My bare feet to me are like feelers to a bug. That's how I know there is a spill on the floor, a fruit snack being smashed into the carpet, sharp objects lurking and waiting for little people to crawl on, etc. With shoes on, I feel clumsy. I trip on things more (since the floor is usually SO uncluttered) and step on people more. It's like walking blind through the house! I can't curl up on the bed or couch with shoes on. And I have to wear socks.
But even with so many reasons why I can't stand shoes, I can't stand the pain anymore. Since I don't have the luxury of staying off my feet, I have to do this. It's obviously not going to go away and it can eventually cause a whole list of problems (some I have already begun to see). I hope that a few weeks of shoes will heal my heel and I can toss those clunkers back into the closet! And then winter will come and I will have to dig them back out again.
A perfect adventure to start on a day that I feel crabby.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
I dreamed a dream
I dream a lot...weird, stressful, unhelpful dreams. I wish I could dream less. I hope that the heavens don't ever try to contact me through dreams, because I'd probably dismiss what I dreamt and miss the whole opportunity for instruction.
"That being said," (inside joke to Chad) I have to report my dream from last night. I dreamed we were planning a move from Idaho to somewhere in western Washington state. And then I found out I was pregnant on top of it. UGH. I've given away all my baby stuff! I don't enjoy being pregnant. Is the dream a nightmare? Truthfully, I would love to have the beauty of western WA in my backyard again.
So the dream was good and bad. I've dreamt about moving before; we lived about 15 minutes away from here. So you see, dreams do come true! But is that necessarily a good thing?
"That being said," (inside joke to Chad) I have to report my dream from last night. I dreamed we were planning a move from Idaho to somewhere in western Washington state. And then I found out I was pregnant on top of it. UGH. I've given away all my baby stuff! I don't enjoy being pregnant. Is the dream a nightmare? Truthfully, I would love to have the beauty of western WA in my backyard again.
So the dream was good and bad. I've dreamt about moving before; we lived about 15 minutes away from here. So you see, dreams do come true! But is that necessarily a good thing?
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