Not always rosey

Sometimes I wish I lived closer to family. Some of my family is easier to spend long amounts of time with than others, but I think most people have that experience. I miss being able to visit for an hour or so without making a big trip out of it. And usually when I do visit, something always has to be "done." I usually spend the short amount of time I'm there going from one errand to the other. I would like to sit and visit and just be there.

I would also like to have someone ask me how I am and then listen. I'm not looking for a poor-me contest to see who has it worse or better. I don't need anyone giving me advice. This is tricky actually because if the advice comes after really listening and caring, it's ok. But not if it's just because the person is "smarter" than I am. Can't you just tell when someone feels it? Conversely, it's great when someone can really appreciate your good times and say so instead of feeling jealous and trying to share something about themselves to "keep up."

Here, in a small town, hours away from any family, I feel isolated. A phone call usually needs to accomplish something. If I do chat with someone (friends or family) on the phone, it's usually because I called. A visit to our home is often on the way to or from somewhere else. And there doesn't seem to be much sitting and visiting. I often hear, "When are you going to be back in town?" I can understand that because we're only one and we reach more people when we travel, but it would really feel good that someone wanted to just come and visit US (and spend some time and gas of their own).

On Sunday afternoons, I particularly feel the isolation. It's such a perfect time for visiting!

I have a few friends in the area, but somehow each situation has something that just doesn't allow for frequent visiting and getting close. (One friend has the same number of kids, about the same ages, but her husband is usually working.) I would really love to have someone that I wouldn't mind seeing when my house is a mess and can sit comfortably to visit until they're thirsty and they get up to get themselves a drink.

Being in Primary has taken me out of the little socialization that I usually got on Sundays. I don't mind the primary, I just miss women! Why do mothers with young children CONSTANTLY get put into the primary? Who is that really helping? Where are the older couples that like to dote on kids? And why do the women in Primary just sit there and stare ahead? Don't they want to interact with the other teachers? Do we feel so separated? Of course, most of the women around here have some family very nearby. They probably have plans to go visiting at least weekly.

These kind of connections with other women are what make the cranky kids, eternally messy homes, $0 bank accounts and general feelings of failure bearable.