It's Already Started

My baby will have her first birthday in less than three weeks! It's our family's last first birthday. I am a sentimental person (though I try to hide it behind a grumpy act) and when I know I'm experiencing something for the last time, my mind slows down and tries to absorb it.

And despite my best efforts, I feel like I haven't absorbed enough of Sarah's first year. How can there only be 3 weeks of it left? How does 11 months compress into such a tiny moment in time? How can I get it back? (Please...not through another pregnancy.) I am trying to accept the fact that my turn for that is over and I'm on to other priceless moments. (To that I say, THANK GOODNESS! and SO SOON? all at the same time.)

Anyway, the reason for this emotional post is that I sat behind a little family in Sacrament Meeting today that reminded me of us about 6 1/2 years ago. They have 2 little boys and a teeny tiny baby girl. I just looked at that tiny baby and watch her eyes focus on heavenly images, a smile at the corners of her mouth and her tongue slowly rolling in and out of her miniature mouth. She was so peaceful. And her (likely exhausted) Daddy held her in his arms as his eyes fought for the nap he so badly wanted.

Then I understood. No wonder everyone always wanted to hold our little babies! I mean, I "understood" then, but this time I FELT it myself! I wanted to hold that baby...just for a tiny moment. While I did, I would remember my own babies and the peace they brought (talk about the calm before the storm!). And while I felt the tugging at my heart, I felt Sarah's tugging at my arm; that gigantic baby that's turning one in 3 weeks - she's gone from "straight from heaven" to "get me a straight jacket!"

And one day soon I'll be borrowing a newborn in church. After I can get my bundle of joy into Nursery!