Blessings

As many (or most) of you know, my calling at church is Ward Choir Director. When the words actually came out of the Bishop's mouth, I wanted to run screaming from the room. But I didn't.

Instead, I swallowed a big, sour lump in my throat and squeaked out an "OK." I don't know many people that would LOVE this calling. But I can think of some people much more qualified than myself. Apparently, that doesn't really matter.

I strongly believe that you accept callings given to you. I don't think church assignments are the same as work place assignments. Church assignments aren't made to showcase your talents and achievements. You don't "earn" your calling (unless you go around the day before saying how you DON'T want the calling...maybe that's payback). hehe Sometimes, a person really isn't suited to a specific task. And, unless there is a legal issue (unfortunately, there are bad people everywhere and they shouldn't be put into certain situations), I think it's best to give your assignment your best effort and let the leadership decide when it's obviously not going to work and find you another job.

I don't really think that EVERY calling is directly inspired from heaven (though many definitely are). Sometimes a job needs to be done and there are several people who are likely to perform it well, or at least try. I DO believe that once you accept a calling, you are supported and given the strength you need to accomplish your task. That's where heaven steps in.

So back to the choir. I have never had a calling that made me feel so uncomfortable. NEVER. Even being a missionary was less intimidating. (Of course, I choose to do that one.) And then to sweeten the deal, I started at the very beginning of my pregnancy. So I got to try to be encouraging and helpful when I felt like crawling into a big hole and murmuring over my afflictions.

But there are some awesome, humble and amazing people who show up each week for choir practice. I'm just glad they come back! I feel like the idiot leading the wise when I'm up there giving direction. I have no formal music training and no experience leading. I had to teach myself how to lead in 6/8 time. And these people thank ME! They are the ones doing all the work and they tell me 'thanks.' It's a strange situation for me.

Then, the past couple of weeks I noticed an unexpected blessing. My personal piano playing has improved. Don't be too impressed. All I'm saying is that I can now play 2 flats or sharps in the music a lot better than I could before. (Don't think I'm ready to sub in Primary, Angela!) I haven't been using the piano for choir; meaning I haven't been spending more time at the piano and therefore getting more practice than usual. I just find my fingers working the keys a little easier.

I attribute this unexpected blessing to serving in the ward choir. I'm thankful for the reminder that maybe my efforts are being noticed. And leading the choir has even gotten easier. I'm glad I didn't run screaming. I wouldn't have believed I could make it this far (even though I still have so far to go). And I'm not saying anything else about any other callings. I can't think of one I really want as they all have their challenges. I'll just do my best for now and wait until I start feeling really comfortable (that's when the next big change will come).

But tonight, I'm just feeling thankful for little blessings.