I knew I would blog tonight after what happened at the church.
Our stake has something called Choirsides. I'd never heard of one before we moved here so I'll explain it for those of you who are unfamiliar. Each ward in the stake sings two numbers, with narration between each ward. Tonight's choirside focused on Christ. We were in the chapel, and the sister missionaries had set up a display at the back of the gym. There were cookies, too.
The program started at 6 PM. There are 8 wards/branches in the stake and our ward was 6th to sing. I think it was about the time the third ward was singing that Leah climbed up into my lap and fell asleep. As the 4th ward finished, I realized that Leah was drooling on my dark blue shirt, very conspicuously placed. LOVELY! So I started blowing, blowing, blowing to dry up the 3" x 1" spot before I had to go up. Rebekah jumped in and started blowing with me. About the time the fifth ward finished its first song, it was dry. Whew! That would have been a little embarrassing! (You thought that was my big story, didn't you!?)
A few moments after I've dried up the slobbery mark, Rebekah starts to say that she needs to go potty. It really gets old to hear her say that she needs to go potty every time we go somewhere. I told her that she needed to wait because it was going to be my turn to go sing. It wasn't too much longer before she gets a bad look on her face and starts to whimper. I looked down on at her feet and watch a puddle forming right before my eyes! (I never realized how water-repellent the church carpets are.)
Meanwhile, the ward before us is just about finished with their last song. I'm frozen in shock. The puddle starts running away, so I grab Joseph's receiving blanket to soak it up, strip off her tights and underwear, put them into a little bag I have (for all those unpleasant moments), whip out a spare diaper and put it on her while she stands there. I was done with moments to spare. I THINK we got away without anyone even having a clue, except for the young man sitting next to Daniel who saw me adjusting the diaper. Only the most observant person would notice that she came in with pink tights on and left without any at all.
So has that ever happened to you? If you have a similar story, please share it and help me feel better!
I never had that happen at church, but... While we were in Disneyland, we had just gotten off the kids very favorite ride (Buzz Lightyear) and were browsing around the gift shop. All of a sudden, Austin tugged at my arm and I notice a great big yellow puddle down below him... I looked around and so that no one noticed and I wanted to grab Austin and walk away, but I had Guy go get Austin out and I told the clerk. It was so embarrassing... the puddle was HUGE and started making a little river! Well, we got Austin out, but had nothing (and I mean NOTHING) for him to change into. SO, we had to go back into that same gift shop and buy a pair of $20 sweats - no, that's not a typo. They really cost us $20... for a pair of gray sweats that had a little tiny picture of Mickey Mouse on the leg!!! So, that's my story!
ReplyDeleteI'll bet you love those sweats! :P
ReplyDeleteGood story!
I wish you had a video camera on you!!! That is SOOOO Funny. I can see you in SUPER MOMMY role. Good Cover up.
ReplyDeleteWow...it just seals the deal that the church carpets have to be infested with so many germs. Pee, poop, food....and so many other things. Lovely. At least she didn't pee on you! That would have been hard to blow dry.
ReplyDeleteOh, my goodness! What a Sunday surprise you had to deal with.
ReplyDeleteKudos to you for being a super fantastic baby spit drying pee leaking cleaning up mom! :)
About 4.5 years ago I was at Micheals craft store at the back counter picking out stuff for a frame. I had 4 children at the time- all there with me. Spencer was the baby and I was carrying him in a front a pack. All of a sudden he poops and poops and poops...up and up and up and out and out and out goes squishy baby poop. I am frantic- three children are yelling 'EEEWWWWWW!!' as loud as they can. Poop then falls to the floor too. I have no clue what to do but lay a baby blanket down on the ground, slowly pull Spencer out of the front pack-even more carefully take the pack off of me and start cleaning up POOP from baby, me, front pack and floor. Thank goodness for wipes. I used my year supply that day!
The frame worker was a guy in his late teens...need I say more? I bet he promised himself then and there he would NEVER have any children!
I've seen the poop thing happen to someone else's kid (that I was dining with) at Olive garden. It was disgusting (and I even had kids already).
ReplyDeleteI took my older girls with me to a concert that my sister was in. Megan has some pretty serious constipation/bowel issues and when she gets 'backed up' she tends to 'leak' for a couple hours before passing huge poops. (Already you're wishing you didn't ask I know). We're sitting there and I start to smell the notorious smell- I took her out and cleaned her up and threw her panties away and made her go commando.
After the concert was over I made her sit on the toilet until poop came out.
I was at a children's consignment sale with my kids. One of my tiwns comes up to me and says "I poopy!" I then notice several globs of brown stuff on the floor and thought "please don't let this have come from my child!" Her poop was no where near solid and was all over the floor, her dress, her socks, her shoes!! Some nice man brought me a roll of paper towles. I then grabbed a dress off the rack (paid for it later), took her to the bathroom, stripped her down, gave her a bath in the sink, washed the clothes in the sink, put the wet clothes in a bag, put her in the stolen dress, and finally went to pay for it. Next time I left the kids at home :)
ReplyDeleteI was around 24 single and very much a crazy guy. Well sitting alone in my apartment eating dinner one night I had bad gas. I mean the kind of gas Shrek has. So after blowing great clouds of chemical weapon grade gas for 1/2 hour I decided I would really shake the walls with the next one. So I sat there and kept everything in for as long as possible and then powered it out as hard and fast as possible. Well needless to say this one was a lot more poop then gas. I crapped up one leg and down the other. Somehow I can laugh more about it now than I could then. Katrina says "My goodness that is gross!", "Your baby has nothing on my husband!" "dare I claim him anymore?"
ReplyDelete(scott)