My Friend has come to a decision on how to handle the tough situation with her mother. She said she's been giving it lots of thought, has prayed about it and gotten some helpful input. So she's not going to cut off communications as first considered. (I guess she never felt completely comfortable with the plan, but was looking for something other than ignoring the situation again.)
What she is going to do is be VERY careful about what she says around her mother. She's going to be on "high alert" in any conversation and bite her tongue if she has any impulses to speak more than necessary. (Do they make good band-aids for tongues?) She will probably limit visits as well. The less time in a dangerous situation, the better.
When negative comments and actions are witnessed by her kids, my friend is going to take some time to discuss it with them. She's hoping to do this in a way that attacks the actions, but not the grandmother.
My friend hopes that this last-ditch effort will save a near-decimated relationship of distrust and hurt. If things don't improve, I think she will resort to the original plan to cut off communication. For her sake, I hope it works. She's been pretty worked up about it. (Talk about holding a grudge!)
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