Treading Water

That's what I feel like I'm doing in my life right now. There are so many things that need to be done amongst the things that are demanding I get done, despite the things I want to do and instead of the things that I should have done. Make any sense? Exactly my point.

I feel like I am being pulled in 50 different directions when all I really want to do it hide in my room and read a book or take a nap. Even the computer sees less of me. (I admit, that's probably a good thing.)

My house is a never ending chore that refuses to cooperate. One thing can be blocking the hallway for a day or a week. It doesn't move until I move it, or someone kicks it to a new spot or I explode in a fireball of emotions and everyone quickly/quietly restores order.

I grounded the toy room and it's entire contents for two weeks (we still have one week to go). Who is suffering the most? ME. Now Leah doesn't know what to do and doesn't like any of my suggestions. The kids find other places to amuse themselves. I wouldn't mind at all if they had even a sliver of responsibility. Everyone just drops things where they are standing at the moment. Sometimes it's within minutes of me just picking it up!!!!

Daniel is struggling with his math and therefore causing much contention all evening about it. He needs me to sit down with him and focus. Too bad there are 49 other things I'm supposed to be doing.

Nathan is shrinking before our very eyes because he refuses to eat or even TASTE anything new. And when he laughs while we yell at him (for jumping on the furniture during scriptures, etc.), I just want to scream.

Leah has become quite bossy to Rebekah and whines or screams most things at the rest of us. For just one day, I wish she would keep her promise of, "I'm never talking to you AGAIN!"

Rebekah isn't too bad. I'm just overloaded and can't even stand it when she comes up to me and leans on my leg. (How bad off am I if the touch from my own child raises my blood pressure?)

Joseph has a deep attachment to me that involves crying when I walk out of the room...while Daddy is holding him. He HATES getting his diaper changed and pretty much cries the second I sit down anywhere with him. I have to stuff him into his car seat every time we go somewhere. How do little babies wiggle so much? He has been suffering with two little teeth for over a week now. They started coming in with the two middle ones, but never got past the first corner poking through. We're all feeling the pain.

I dreamt last night that I was being put in as Sunday School Pres. I am SO GLAD that is never going to happen! But I still feel the odd stress of having to pick counselors. Why do my dreams do that to me? Does anyone else get intense and unsettling dreams?

Thanks for letting me vent. Now I have to go get Joseph. He's been wanting out of that crib for the past 20 minutes.

The Wrong Side of the bed

Last Sunday, early morning, we awoke to hear Leah crying. This is not an unusual occurance. This time, though, she sounded a little muffled. The more she cried, the more muffled she sounded. Since it was still dark outside, we were a little disoriented. We finally realized that Leah was UNDER our bed and getting more frantic the more she awoke and couldn't really move. I can't believe that she even got under there at all. I can't fit a large shoe box under there, but she can wiggle under in her sleep. Talk about waking up on the wrong side of the bed!

It hasn't been a good week for sleeping. Sometime mid-week, I was up all night hearing Leah and Rebekah in a coughing choir. They were doing solos, duets, refrains and it was all in forte. Rebekah was pausing one or two minutes before starting in again. I hate it when my kids are coughing, especially when they're young and can't really tell me how they feel. I kept cringing with the nasty coughing and imagined that their throats were getting sore. I gave them both prescription strength med., but I couldn't give the stuff with codine to Rebekah and it took her a LLLLong time to quiet down. Then Daniel came in sometime before dawn and said he didn't feel good. He clarifed and said he didn't feel safe. He'd started to have a bad dream. I gave him a sleepy hug and told him to get a drink and go to the bathroom before going back to bed. The next night, I was so tired that when Leah started coughing, I medicated her, cranked up the humidifier, and closed her door most of the way. I would have liked to close our door, but since we often have sleepy visitors, I didn't want to risk the collision of door to face and suffer the trauma that would follow that!