I can't take the noise!

I just spent the last hour being tortured. It's currently 2:21 AM.

Chad and I were trying to go to bed at about 11:30, but Sarah wouldn't play her "sleepy baby" part. Chad took her and I crawled (gratefully) into bed. I heard her fussing occasionally as I drifted off.

My next notice of anything came at 1:18. I heard Sarah again, but it was more grunting type noises than crying. I woke up enough to realize that she was in her bed and Chad was asleep. I knew for sure that she was awake because it wasn't natural to make that much noise and remain asleep. As a nursing mother, I learned with Daniel not to jerk awake at every sound because babies are so noisy. Sarah is really testing me on this; I have never heard such a noisy sleeper. Ever. I should get a little video of it sometime for you all. I just have to talk myself into doing it in the middle of the night.

So it's the wee hours of the morning and I'm half awake, ready for the cry that tells me she's ready to eat. It doesn't come...just the continuing grunting. Then Chad joins the party (or maybe I finally woke up enough to notice him). Chad snores (love the man, not the snoring). He is so good at it that he can snore while sleeping on his stomach. I don't know how he was sleeping, just that he was snoring...loudly. Woodsman kind of loud. Now I'm right between two very noisy, but sleeping people. The one with the most decency to remain quiet is the one who is awake!

For almost an hour, I nearly lost my hearing. I kept waiting for Sarah to wake up enough to demand food. She was just so noisy, I couldn't believe that she was really asleep! I had the thought to put my pillow over my head. The worrying part of me didn't like that idea because what if all the noise was to keep me awake because this is the night Sarah would narrowly escape SIDS? The guilt would be too much. Eventually, the situation got to me.

I jiggled around in the bed enough to make Chad change position and quiet him down. As he did, I worried that the change in sound would actually wake Sarah up. It didn't, but she didn't get any quieter. I finally got up and prepared to wake her so I could feed her and get some sleep. (I have no idea why that would help. Is the stomach in any way connected to breathing/grunting?) Just as I was about to get her out of bed, she got quiet. FIGURES! I turned the little light back out and started to go back to sleep. It was 2:19.

Sarah started crying.

I wanted to join her.

I took my nursing baby and fled to the computer (obviously). She nursed on one side and now I can't wake her enough to finish what she started. She's breathing normally now (maybe there is a connection), so do I dare try to go back to sleep? I'm afraid the association with her bed will remind her to either cry or grunt. Neither one is going to help me get any sleep.

Well, it's now 2:51. I've typed much of this one-handed. I'm going to try to put her back to bed and salvage the rest of the night. I am not very optimistic about it all. Church starts at 9 AM.