Don't feel bad. I don't really feel like singing, either. And I don't really feel like time is going by.
I've only been sick about 4 weeks. I still have six more to go. That is a really depressing thought. Truly, this is the worst part of having a baby. The c-section and recovery are better than this! When I was pregnant with Rebekah, I starting bleeding a lot at 13 weeks. I really thought I was miscarrying. While I was sad to think that was happening, I was more disappointed to think that I had been sick for so long for nothing! Obviously, I didn't miscarry and all the suffering did result in a beautiful baby who now says "uh-uh" to 95% of the things she's told to do. The suffering is cyclical, obviously.
Today has been such a fabulous day...to put it mildly. I got up for family prayer this morning, put some breakfast in my stomach and went back to bed. So I finally stumbled into the shower at 10 AM, made lunch at 11, then went back to bed for naptime. Now, after all this sleeping, I wasn't really tired, but I just can't seem to favor an upright position. The doorbell forced me out of bed at 1:30. If I can stay up until bedtime, I should be able to fall asleep ok tonight.
I am constantly eating, just to fight the watery taste that's always in my mouth. So at least I don't have hunger pangs on top of everything! I've already gone through a prescription of Phenergan (w/codine) and two refills in 3 weeks. That's what's probably saved me from throwing up so far. I normally start the day feeling "passable" and go down hill from there. By the time I lie down at night, I'm hoping to loose consciousness quickly and wake as little as possible before 3 or 4 AM.
I've got a lot of reading done. I got 4 books from the library last Wed. I'm halfway through the last one. I've read about 1,000 pages this week.
And yet life has gone on around me. Chad was called to be Exec. Sec. a few weeks ago. He gets to wear a tie a lot more now. I'm still in Primary. I get to yell at Daniel all week and then a bonus 2 hours on Sunday. He doesn't listen to me as well as the other 4 or 5 kids in the class. I wonder why?
Daniel has reading homework every day. So right after school I sit next to him on the couch, trying not to smell him (or anything else around me for that matter) and listen to the same story 2-4 times. Speaking of smells, I've changed a lot fewer diapers lately. THANK YOU, CHAD!
The other night Leah came into our room (I think we need to duct tape her into bed) with some "important" thing to tell us, and I noticed that she had some short hair on one side of her head. But it's not what you think. Nathan was the one that cut it. WHATTTT???? We woke him out of a sound sleep and ruined his night. It's hard to remember that they aren't "accountable" yet. I sure hold him accountable. And he won't be holding any scissors for a long time.
Rebekah is 20 months old next week and still not talking. Nathan didn't talk until he was 3, so I'm not worried about her development (yet). She understands us just fine. We just don't understand her. The shrieking and moaning sounds she's using are nigh to drive me insane.
I have no patience with my kids lately. I feel so yucky that I just yell at them or ignore them completely. I am truly amazed that this planet isn't one big barren rock. The fact that this is my fifth time putting myself through this has convinced me that I am indeed out of my mind. I used to be such an intelligent girl. *sigh*
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