Dear Family,
We're having 13 Bean Soup with turkey tonight. I slow cooked the 13 "beans" in a liquid that included over a quart of the juices from the turkey bones that simmered overnight. It's going to taste so good!
As you know, beans have a magical power that is collected in the water as they cook. For the most part, this magic is considered black magic and in consideration for you, I took extra effort to drain and rinse the very heavy and hot pot of beans over the kitchen sink.
I know how much you will appreciate this act of love because you have expressed many times your distaste for extra work (or any work) and undoubtedly know the sweat and tears I could have shed over the task. But don't worry. Other than temporarily loosing vision through my fogged up glasses, it was no trouble at all!
Thankfully, I did not shed the tears and exert the energy to avoid the extra time, because it would have made me more tired than just draining and rinsing the beans actually did!
So what all of this means is that you will have a nice dinner and your tummies will be full without as many severely unpleasant and embarrassing intestinal reactions. All because I love you!
Or...it's a purely selfish move based on too much exposure to your delicate systems.
Either way, bon appetit!
Love, Mother
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