Twinkie Bliss

Sarah got her first taste of Twinkie today. Or should I say Twinkie Heaven? She nearly went into a Twinkie Coma while she was eating her treat. (I only gave her about a half...maybe a little more.)

She had both little chubby hands on the spongy flesh of the snack cake and was forcing it into her mouth. Unfortunately, Twinkie physics teaches us that the structure of the moist, sweet bread, filled with a white, sugary cream will not withstand such pressure and becomes a very sticky, greasy, mushy mess that clings to the skin and clothes of the eater, as well as whomever is holding the eater!

It was about this time that the buzz of the Twinkie was hitting Sarah's brain and she would grunt at me if I tried to hold any of the clumps that were beginning to fall from her fists. It seemed she was just sucking the sugar right from the goo! Occasionally, she would look up at me and give me a white and yellow, gluttonous grin - then go back to her binging.

It was a relief to me when I was finally able to wash her up. I am thankful for soap.

It seemed to be an unusually short sugar high and less than 5 minutes after she finished nearly overdosing on Twinkie, she was crankier than normal and a little bossy.

Tiny Tomatoes

Joseph doesn't like tomatoes. I had some sitting on the table, fresh from the garden this morning. (Our garden is slow to ripen this summer...we've not gotten many little tomatoes so far.)

When I woke up from my nap, this is what I found.


I think it shows maturity that he tried every single one to be certain that he didn't like them. The older kids won't even touch something they assume they won't like. Or maybe it's just childlike faith. Too bad he didn't leave me any to try.

Smart

That's me. The smartest one on the block. Let me prove it.

I wanted to make some rice krispie treats for the kids this afternoon. I'm not really sure why. Most of them have been fighting all day. They obviously need a reward for that!

So I tried to get into the Rice Krispie website to find the recipe. I know you are all shocked that any mother with more than 2 kids wouldn't have the recipe memorized already. Now you know just how often my kids get these things. My mom didn't make them much for us, either. It must have a genetic link.

Well, the website wouldn't load the recipe. I can only assume that there are hundreds of children getting rice krispie treats this afternoon and the site was crashing in the search for the recipe. I tried a few likely cookbooks for the recipe and was unlucky in my search. Now I have to think of some other snack...and quick. (If these kids don't end up killing each other, I'll be doing the deed myself.)

And then the brains turned on. Maybe they just flickered. Whatever happened, it was enough to think to look on the bag of marshmallows. Voila! Now I have my recipe. Let's get started. I hope my kids won't think any less of the treat just because I'm using REALLY old marshmallows. Of course, they won't even know the difference because they don't get this treat enough to know the quality is bad.

While the butter is melting, I have to rip the two partial bags of marshmallows (mini and regular) down the sides in order to get the mangled, sticky stuff out of the packages. I get it all into the pan and think that maybe that's too many marshmallows. But how was I to measure a big clump? So I add a little more butter. I'm hoping that will make up for the stale marshmallows, too. And then I add a little more cereal to the waiting bowl. (Good thing I spent 15 minutes trying to track down that recipe!)

Mini marshmallows melt a lot faster than the big ones. Eventually, I decided enough was enough and just dumped it all into the bowl of cereal and stir. I never could get all the cereal mixed in. Apparently, I added too much. And the marshmallows weren't really pliable, so that wasn't helping. I got it into the pan and mashed for all I was worth. I had 4 hungry kids looking on. Joseph dug in first - before I cut anything. He's not particular (remember, he eats off the floor).

Before too long, I give them each a generous square of treats and shoo them out the door. Then I eat two generous squares of my own. The baby is now doing somersaults as the sugar reaches her. I'm pretty sure she's saying thank you.

FAT

No, I'm not complaining about my ever-widening waistline. Although, I can understand how you would make that mistake. I've calculated that I won't be able to seriously diet and shed noticeable pounds until after the baby is weaned. I'll be 37. Ugh.

The Fat I am referring to is the stuff that makes food taste good. I learned something interesting when I was pregnant with Leah; I can't eat low fat foods when I'm pregnant. That year I was in the middle of an eDiets crusade and doing quite well. Suddenly, the Lean Cuisine lunches that I had been enjoying for lunch nearly every day became stuck in my throat and I had to stop eating them.

So lately, I've been eating a lot of fatty foods. Just what I need. I wasn't able to shed any of the pregnancy pounds from Joseph, so I'm already in trouble. It's gotten so bad that I had to have Chad buy my a bottle of regular mayo because the light stuff tastes so nasty. It's burritos, ramen noodles and lots of gooey, fat-filled mayo for me! Bring on the Big Macs and fried chicken( just don't cook it around me). Put the heart-healthy stuff away for now. I'll let you know when I'm ready.

Taking care of Joseph

I asked Leah and Rebekah to take care of Joseph for me this morning so I could clean the bathtub without his little hands reaching in to help me.

Apparently, they got tired of doing that because when I stepped out of the bathroom, I saw him sitting in the hallway with a little bottle of milk and a donut next to him. Their bedroom door was shut; they were behind it. That was so caring of them to think of his needs like that. Too bad the food wasn't real.

I can see that they aren't quite ready to start long-term babysitting.

Weak and Starving

Leah is borderline malnourished. She is always hungry. The only one hungrier is Rebekah. Today I was busy getting several things done and 5 kids ready to go to church while Leah bemoaned her empty stomach. I was a little late getting lunch ready. I think it was already the unthinkable hour of half past 11. (I know, such cruelty.)

Leah came in to me from the living room where she had been languishing and told me that when she goes a long time without eating, sometimes it's hard to walk and she has to hold on to the walls. *sigh* I guess I'll have to look for the hand prints tomorrow.

Poisoned

We went out to an early dinner on Saturday night, after running some errands. I ordered fish and chips, while everyone else around me ordered a breakfast dish or hot dogs. I don't like fish, but this stuff isn't really fish...at least, it doesn't taste like it. So when my fat and calorie-laden breaded fish fillets were gone, I dipped my fat and calorie-laden fries in the left-over tarter sauce.

About an hour after falling asleep that night I awoke to feel pretty yucky. A person should only feel this yucky on a storm-tossed ship or with the promise of a baby at the end of the ordeal. Neither one of those situations pertained to me. All night long I woke up, wishing to be freed from my turmoil. (And cursing that tartar sauce!) Around 3 AM, Rebekah summoned me to her room. She complained to me that she wanted to sleep in a higher bed. !! I can't help her with that right now! I rested my head on her short, little toddler bed until she got tired enough to fall over and go back to sleep.

Around 5 AM I prayed for relief. About 6 AM I had a quick coughing attack, brought on by a 2-day old tickle in my throat. Miracle! That got the stomach churning and up came the offensive matter. And up, and up and up. It was gross, bitter and didn't only come out of my mouth. (Aren't you glad you've read this far?) Unfortunately for me, it was my turn to teach the Primary lesson at church and then we had Tithing Settlement and the First Presidency Christmas Devotional in the evening. So I sucked it up and met the day with half-open eyes.

I felt much better Monday, just tired. Yesterday I was completely recovered, except for that little tickle I talked about...it has gone a little deeper. And so I am thinking bad things about that tartar sauce when Chad admits that he isn't feeling well. (The fact that he was bent over the couch to talk to me was a little incriminating.) He spent the day feeling like he would throw up...but never did. He's feeling a little better today. Which is lucky, because it seems like it's Daniel's turn.

Daniel threw up all night (and I don't get any points for anything because Chad helped him every time). He's home from school today. He seems much better, but the poor kid didn't get much rest! So I guess I didn't have food poisoning as I suspected, but we've definitely been poisoned by something! Nasty, nasty germs!

And I really should apologize to everyone with whom I came into contact on Sunday. I really did think I was only poisoned...not deadly!

My Humble Pie is cinnamon flavored

I made cinnamon rolls today. Would you like one? These are from the bottom oven.

These are from the top. I think I'll need to make a few adjustments. But for now we'll be eating those black ones, minus the bottoms. All that sugar just melted and burned. Just when I think I'm perfect, I go and try to bake.

Here are my cute girls before church on Sunday. They love being seen through the eye of the camera! I made Leah's "sweater" from some fabric I found on a discount table at Hancock's a few weeks ago. That stuff sure was hard to work with! I made a size 5, so we won't know if she's got hands for another several months.


We're still fishing things out of Joseph's mouth. I found him with a wood shaving about 10 minutes ago. I'm still trying to figure that one out. On my way back from throwing that away, I found a game marker in his hand. And I think he just swallowed something else 2 minutes ago. Great. (I just turned around to check on him and found him in a cupboard. He'd found one of those mister fans, had gotten the 2 AA batteries out and was starting to eat them!) I wish he'd eat baby food so well!

A realization

I came to a realization about myself today while driving home. I was sneak-eating a week-old, stale pop-tart but I couldn't bear to just throw it away. I was wondering why I would do something like that, but yet I held onto my goal. I finished that stale pastry. Bonus points for me.

Then I realized that I am a stress eater. I actually already knew that. I made a deeper discovery than that. My "trigger" stress is anger. I eat when I'm angry!

Lately, that has meant a lot of munching. Some little demon in my head is saying, "Neener, neener" to my kids every time I sneak a snack. "I get a snack, and you don't because you're misbehaving!" This is SO not healthy in more than one way.

There are five little independent (and sometimes down right naughty) catalysts to my anger. I need to find a "happy place" and soon! (Because I don't deal with my anger JUST through food.) I could also use a little more sleep.

So I guess if you want to see how well I've been managing my anger, you could just watch me from the rear. No flash photography, please.

Lunch Time

It's never a dull moment on the Collett Farm.

I was in the middle of making lunch, with two pans simmering on the stove and trying to empty the dishwasher, when Rebekah started crying for me from the back of the house. She had soap in her eye. Laundry detergent.

Dare I hope that she's developing an interest in doing the laundry? It's more likely that she wanted to bury the measuring cup in the soap tub again. (I hate having to dig that thing out.)

So I took her to the bathroom and rinsed out her eyes/rinsed off her face. As soon as I get back into the kitchen, she's behind me saying that she has soap in her eye. I should have thought to check her hands. She had a long-sleeved shirt on that was full of soap granules and was rubbing soap back into her eye. So I took her shirt off and started over.

Eventually, everyone was seated at the table so I decided to get Joseph in his highchair for another attempt at spooning some food into his mouth. The boy is 6 1/2 months old and is showing very little interest in starting table foods. How little interest, you ask? Here is your answer:

It was applesauce. He's willing to taste it, as long as I don't give him any more than that. What trick does it take to get him to open his mouth? Put the food away.

As you can see, he's not suffering from his aversion to food. The same food that's making me fat is obviously doing the same for him!